Help Her Make Friends …

When I was well into my twenties, other than my girl cousins (I don’t have that many since we’re mostly a family of boys), I barely had any friends.  It used to worry my mother to no end that I spent so much time alone and loved it.  When I was moving to America, she was soooooooooooooooooo worried.  It worried her that I was moving to a new country where I only really knew my family and a few acquaintances who had moved away right after high school.  She wanted me to make friends.  Good ones.  She prayed for me to make friends.  I’d never forget it “Dear God, I know she likes to spend time alone, but everyone needs a friend; please help her to make friends.”  That’s my mother for you.  I heart that lady.

Fast forward some  years, I’ve become better at the art of making friends.  I’m still not a social butterfly and love even more to spend time alone, but last Friday, I made another one.

I don’t know how I met Denise.  I think maybe I was going through projects on Ravelry and found hers and as a result her page.  I really can’t tell at this point, but whatever it was, I added her to my Ravelry friends list then surprise, surprise, she added me back.  And I say surprise because her skill-set is waaaaaaaaaaaaay beyond mine in both crochet and knitting so I thought it was really kind of her to add me to her friends list with my beginner projects.   After that, I started reading her blog and drooling over her awesome pictures.  I “met” her daughter Yoshi and other family members through these pictures and writings.  Then there was the first post I commented on and vice versa.  Then there the post that made me send her a message on Rav — she knows the one.  Then came more postings, more comments, more connection.  After that, came Instagram, then the “Dancing Queens” video.  By this time,  all bets were off.  So when she told me she was coming to NY and wanted to meet up, I was too excited.

The meeting — unforgettable.  I walked into the Lincoln Center Atrium, she stood up, and it was that all the online connections just merged into real life seamlessly.  She gives the best hugs.  I mean, tight, full-bodied, sincere, just big!  After that it was over for me.  Any hesitation that she might not like me or that we might not connect vanished into thin air.  We talked like we always knew each other.  We laughed until we cried — I’m still laughing.  I mean literally.  And the conversation covered so much.  Things we’ve shared online, things we had not.  She was as sweet as they come with a side order of naughty and I love it!!!  She was exactly who I thought she’d be.  She headed back home on Saturday and I miss her already.   Although our connection started through Ravelry (my mother didn’t grasp the concept of online friends but she has now — that’s another story :D), I know my mother’s prayers have been answered.  For all the people I’ve connected with especially those relationships that started online, grown with, now love, I have made friends and last Friday, I made another one.

Me & Denise

Nicky and Denise

18 thoughts on “Help Her Make Friends …

  1. QuaintrelleNoire March 2, 2014 / 3:24 pm

    HI Denise!!!!

    You guys look like you had so much fun together. Love your scarves & hats. In the last 10-15 years, I’d say the majority of my friends I met have been online. That’s why I miss those meet ups that used to happen so often on nappturality & the like.

    • Nicky March 2, 2014 / 6:59 pm

      We really did. Fun was had by all! LOLOL! Reminded me of when we went to the India Arie concert at Lincoln Center. 😀

      I’ve had the same experience. You, Dominique, Moe, Cyn, the entire Why crew, we all started online. I do miss the NP meetups too. We really had a good time at those. I can’t tell the last time I went to the site.

  2. Creatively Motivated February 21, 2014 / 7:55 am

    Great story and that is such a beautiful picture of you two!

    I feel like making friends is hard to do as an adult and harder to do online. Making a connection is easy, but building a lasting friendship is a challenge. The net is such a negative place sometimes that I really enjoy posts like this that change my thoughts about it.

    • Nicky February 22, 2014 / 9:56 am

      I agree with all your sentiments and I would go even further to say that the same happens in real life re making lasting friends as an adult. So it’s all the more awesome when we connect on or offline with another.

  3. Opal February 18, 2014 / 12:23 pm

    Some of our similarities are uncanny, I also spent a lot of time alone. Mostly females in my family. It wasn’t that I disliked being around others, I just enjoyed the skin I was in and rather than wait for others to join me on my various adventures, I had no problems going off by myself and having a blast! I still have more male friends than females.

    Always nice to meet people that you connect with online in person! I’ve met a few blogging pals/gaming pals in person. 🙂

    • Nicky February 20, 2014 / 7:18 pm

      Uncanny indeed! I’d say my friends mix is pretty even … I love my guys but I can’t live without my girlfriends. I feel the same way, sometimes it’s okay to go have some adventure solo rather than miss while waiting for company.

      It really is always great when you connect on and offline with someone! Good vibes all around.

  4. ToniS February 17, 2014 / 12:58 pm


    • Nicky February 17, 2014 / 6:22 pm

      I know right! 😀

  5. Preeti February 17, 2014 / 12:50 pm

    What a fun friendship with so many good laughs shared online and in person, that’s fantastic! Love the picture of the both of you 🙂

    • Nicky February 17, 2014 / 6:22 pm

      Thank you Preeti! 😀 I agree … it’s really wonderful when what’s cultivated online can be translated offline.

  6. Tracey February 17, 2014 / 8:15 am

    This life is so grand and getting to meet an online friend in person is awesome.
    OMG Nicky you are stunning!!! I hope one day to make it to NYC, I’ve never been,
    but it looks fun.

    • Nicky February 17, 2014 / 8:21 am

      Awwww Tracey, you’re making me blush. Thanks so much.

      You should definitely come to NYC cause I’d love to meet another online buddy *hint, hint* in person too. Life is indeed grand and experiences like this really adds to one’s joy.

  7. denise/snoopy February 16, 2014 / 11:17 pm

    YAY!!!!! Nicky, you made it even harder for me to leave NY. And thank you so much for the madelinetosh! Wow!! That’s it, you won’t be able to shake me away. xoxoxo

    • Nicky February 17, 2014 / 8:16 am

      Anytime! My stash and I would love to have you back! 😀 You sound like my friend in VA … she says “girl, you wouldn’t even be able to sell me, you’re stuck with me for life.” Incidentally, our first connection was on the internet over natural hair. 😀

  8. dwj1978 February 16, 2014 / 9:39 pm

    I love the internet. I’ve been fortunate enough to make a few good friends because of blogging and our mutual interests. It’s such a wonderful thing that connects us all. So happy for you!

    • Nicky February 17, 2014 / 8:18 am

      Thanks D. I’ve really been fortunate too and I’m happy you’ve experienced the same. I’ve not just made friends but really good ones and for that I’m extremely grateful. I’ve come to look at the ‘net as another medium of connection. You’re absolutely right — it does help to connect us over mutual interests.

  9. savethestationery February 16, 2014 / 8:22 pm

    I am very happy for you honey! You are a blessing in many people’s lives never forget that. 🙂

    • Nicky February 17, 2014 / 8:19 am

      And so are you! We lived so close to each in other times but met through Ravelry also. Who would’ve thought? 😀

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