I wish I could say that the last year of my life was a happy one. It was one of the worst years of my life. Full of trouble but yet, lots to learn from. From a period of unemployment which lasted from one birthday to a month before this one, job hunting frustrations, new health scares, old health issues and flare ups, steep financial losses not of my own doing but because my old company went bankrupt, deaths and other losses … let’s just say that it’s been a interesting year. However, today, I look forward to a new year with a grateful heart. Although the year was beyond tough, I made it through by living this old Russian proverb:
Pray to God and now row to shore
I knew if I stopped praying, then I’d be too tired on my own to row through the sea of the last year, and if I got too tired to row, I’d drown. Most importantly, faith in God is what gave me what I needed to continue to row. My options were as dire but as simple as that so I kept praying and He helped me to keep rowing.
Although there are things I’ll never recover, I’m looking forward to new opportunities, new treasures and being grateful for what I do have. Blessings like faith, that woman who I call “Mummy”, my two sidekicks aka my brothers — Neil & Ali, my cousins Ann & Sabs, my friends Elisa, Drea, Ophelia & Courtney, my birthday twin Linda, my Preeti, my Sharon, my Miko, love, friendship, support, being prayed for, laughter, enjoying the simple things (there’s nothing like loss to wake a person up to what they do have and I’m no exception), “just between us” text messages from my Andi who always knows exactly what to say … from encouraging to the most insanely random — she’s The Shawn to my Gus), surprise “I’m thinking of you” packages in the mail from Nizzy and Asha, plus other family/friends who came through for me in the biggest of ways … ways I can’t even describe. I can’t name them all or this post wouldn’t end, but I couldn’t have made it to shore without you cheering me on! When I weigh the bad against the good — what’s not to be thankful for?
Through it all, I realized that I was made of sterner stuff than I thought I was made of, that it was okay to not be superwoman but to graciously accept help when it was given, that I needed to leave the past behind, just move forward — for my own good, and that I had gifts and talents I was sleeping on.
While my life hasn’t evened out yet, I’m still enormously grateful to see another birthday. Enormously grateful that every day I live I’m being given another chance to craft a life well lived with God’s help despite whatever trying situations come my way (cause you know they don’t ever leave you alone). I get to continue to work on becoming this lady and I get to focus on what’s really important and most true.
So cheers to another birthday … although I’m kinda hoping for a luxury yacht this year and not another row boat. I’ll even take a speed boat to get a break from the rowing. LOLOL! I have one request though … somebody … please … whatever “boat” I get to go through the upcoming year with, throw some yarn in to keep me company! 😀